Beyond the Mediation Room: When conflict continues after agreements have been reached

Beyond the Mediation Room: When Conflict Continues After Agreements have been reached

3-minute read

Mediation and Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) are typically time-limited processes. Parents may have just one, or multiple mediations over time with the aim of reaching agreement about their parenting arrangements. Once an agreement is made—or it becomes clear that one cannot be reached—the mediator’s involvement concludes.

For many families, an agreement or parenting plan reached in mediation is enough. They leave with a pathway forward and are able to manage their parenting arrangements independently.

For families with complex needs or experiencing ongoing high conflict or co-parenting challenges, reaching an agreement does not necessarily mean the conflict stops. Even with a Parenting Order, difficulties can emerge when parents attempt to apply it to everyday life. Changeovers, communication, school matters, extracurricular activities and differing interpretations of the arrangements can all become sources of repeated dispute.

Where domestic and family violence is a factor, additional care is required. High conflict and family violence are not the same, and Parenting Coordination will not be suitable for every family. Appropriate screening, risk assessment and safety planning are essential.

For suitable families, Parenting Coordination offers assistance beyond the mediation room and the Order.

How Parenting Coordination differs from mediation

While mediation and FDR primarily assist parents to reach agreement, Parenting Coordination generally begins after a parenting agreement or orders are already in place.

Rather than assisting with a single issue the Parenting Coordinator works with the family over time. This may involve helping parents implement their arrangements, manage day-to-day disagreements, improve and monitor their communication, if necessary, and develop more effective ways of resolving future issues.

Working with a family on an ongoing basis also gives the Parenting Coordinator an opportunity to identify recurring patterns as they emerge and help parents respond differently. The focus is not simply on resolving the immediate disagreement, but on developing more constructive ways of managing future parenting issues.

Parenting Coordination is not a replacement for mediation, therapy or legal advice. It is a distinct, child-focussed process addressing the practical and interpersonal difficulties that may continue after the formal dispute-resolution process has ended.

Applying the skills you already have

For experienced family professionals, Parenting Coordination may represent both a new area of practice and a natural extension of their existing skills.

PCs come from interdisciplinary backgrounds. Mediators and FDRPs already understand impartiality, conflict dynamics, structured communication, reality testing and the importance of keeping parents focussed on their children. Psychologists and social scientists may bring knowledge of child development, family systems, conflict dynamics, emotional regulation, entrenched behaviour patterns and the effects of parental conflict on children. Family lawyers understand parenting orders, legal processes, professional boundaries and the practical issues that can bring separated parents back for legal advice long after an order has been sealed.

These capabilities provide a strong professional foundation. Specialist Parenting Coordination training builds upon that foundation by preparing practitioners for the particular scope, structure and challenges of an ongoing post-agreement intervention.

Parenting Coordination requires the practitioner to move between several functions, including facilitation, dispute resolution about day-to-day issues, education, case management, conflict-management and communication support—while maintaining clear boundaries around the Parenting Coordinator’s role.

Expanding your professional toolkit

Parenting Coordination can broaden the scope of how you can work with families, post-Orders.

For appropriately qualified professionals, Parenting Coordination may also complement an established mediation, FDR, psychology, social work or family law practice. It offers a different process for families whose needs continue indefinitely, and a fresh way for practitioners to assist them.

For practitioners who regularly help families reach agreement but wonder what happens after they leave the mediation room, Parenting Coordination provides an opportunity to work at that next important stage.

By Dr Anne Purcell